work: you must meet the submission rate for deliverables
work: but it has to be perfect- no mistakes.
work: but you are not allowed to work on it after hours
work: and if you need any help or have any questions, pls reach out
work: but also you should know everything and shouldn’t be asking questions
??????
I am on a sinking ship, my friend.
wedding post 2
Wedding post 1
Just two breakdowns today. Nice 👍
The wedding is literally a week away
and
I slept 2 hours last night
And punched the door this morning
So clearly, I am well.
yeah so update on exam 5…
The answer is you get your highest score yet!
Wild, a math heavy exam and I only missed 3 points out of 110! 2 more months of this and then the final.
We have a training class that’s a month ahead of us that took the final cert exam and they sadly lost one person. She didn’t pass and actually flat out bombed.
That’s scary af, bro 😔
I took Exam 5 today. And I don’t think I did terrible but usually when I think I do terrible, I’ll get an A?? So what could it mean this time 😐
We find out either tmw or Thursday our exam scores and then… more weeks of production hell and jumping through hoops, a final comprehensive certification exam in October and then …. Peace?
Also wedding in less than 2 weeks 🫡
HahaHa, here we fuckin gooooo
Also would like to note, Brandon drove me to my exam today to help reduce the stress and be there to emotionally support me 🥹 he really is that guy 😍
one day you think: I want to die. and then you think, very quietly: actually. actually. I think I want a coffee. a nap. a sandwich. a book. and I want to die turns day by day into want to go home, I want to walk in the woods, I want to see my friend, I want to sit in the sun, I want a cleaner kitchen, I want a better job, I want to live somewhere else. I want to live.
- via duckbunny
The shit week continues. I feel like I’m no good at this. is it the inherent need to be great at everything I do causing a distortion of my performance? Or do I really actually suck? How will I know?
Should I start looking for a new job?
A BIG part of me wants to stop caring and wants to stop trying and be okay with the results. House is not done? Oh well. Missing things from the wedding? That’s fine. Who cares anymore, dude. all this is stupid. All this for people who are going to criticize me any way because they don’t understand the situation I am in. Everything is dumb. and I am tired. And I am tired of trying to figure everything out. And stressing over everything. I am very close to giving up and letting it all go to shit 👍
UMMM, I can’t wait to find out what my personality will be post-wedding because right now my whole shtick is “Ms. I’m stressed because we have to get the house done before the wedding, still plan the wedding but also I can’t fail my exam that takes place the same week as the wedding”. Like after that, maybe I’ll just be “Ms. trying to get through this reallly hard program and pass the last cert. exam”. Yeah. Can’t wait for that day.
This is me on a whole bottle of wine and plotting my next home depot run for the house & wedding DIYs. fucking cheers, mate.
This year is seriously wrecking me as a person. I feel like a shell of whoever the fuck I was years ago. I hate it here.
